A conversation

December 2, 2014Leave a comment

My grandfather is not in good health and was recently moved to a hospice facility. We’re going to make a short trip over MLK Jr. weekend to Hawaii to see him and the rest of my family. I just booked the tickets last night (side note: Alaska is the best! $528 total, roundtrip for 3 people, achieved through low fares, miles, and a companion fare) and told the 2.5 year old in the car when I picked him up from daycare today.

I had the following conversation with him.

Me: Hey, who haven’t we seen in a while?
N: Oma and Goong Goong?
Me: That’s right! But guess what. We’re going to make a quick trip next month and get on an airplane to see them!
N: We’re going on airplane to Hawaii?
Me: Yeah!
N: I get to use my iPad?!? Hooray! I get to use my iPad!!!

Man, is he a Silicon Valley 21st century kid or what? More excited about the fact that he’ll get to play with an iPad on the plane than the plane ride itself. But this is also proof that we really don’t let him use it outside of travel.

Later in the conversation…

Me: Do you know whose birthday it will be when we’re in Hawaii?
N: Oma?
Me: Nope, Goong Goong!
N: Goong Goong? Oh. Is he going to be 3?
Me: No, he’s much older than that.
N: Is he going to be 4?
Me: No, he’s going to be 60.
N: Wow, 60? That’s a big number.

Hahahaha, conversations with a 2.5 year old are always entertaining.

Reading children’s books as an adult – part 1

July 22, 2014Leave a comment

It’s funny how reading children’s books as an adult, you can often find..flaws..in them that make you see them in a different light.

Ryan was reading Curious George to our son when he realized George isn’t a monkey…he’s an ape! It’s true. George has no tail. So tonight when Ryan read Curious George to the boy before bed, he changed it up a bit: “George was a good little ape and always very curious.” It just doesn’t quite have the same ring to it.

I put “part 1” in the title because I imagine we’ll come across some other great examples.

When your kid is the bully

March 11, 2014Leave a comment

I work for a nonprofit organization that provides counseling services to teens and families. One of our top 10 presenting issues tends to be bullying. We put out resources and advice articles about bullying all the time. When my son is a teenager, I think I’ll have a pretty good idea of how to talk to him about this topic. But, what do you do when your toddler is the bully?

Sadly, my kid is THAT KID. The bully. The one who hurts other kids. It only started in the last couple of weeks. We got a report after picking him up from daycare that he started pushing his classmates. Then came the hitting, the kicking, and hurting the little ones in the baby class. After the very first report we started talking to him about it every night: “It is not nice to push. You need to be gentle. Hitting is never okay. The only thing you can kick are balls.” Over and over again.

Today I picked him up from daycare and was told that Nolan was not nice to the babies again. I sat down by the babies and said, “Look, you have to be nice and gentle with the babies.” Then the worst thing I can imagine happened. He pushed this little girl over. Hard. So hard that she flew backwards and hit her head on the wall really hard. I scolded him right away, “No! No pushing! Why did you push her??? That is not nice and not okay!” His response was a sinister smile and laugh.

I was so ashamed. Embarrassed. I like to think I am a good person and have been doing my best to teach him to be polite, to be a nice, to be…good. Until recently, I thought he was a good little boy (but always very curious…sorry, I’ve been reading too much Curious George). I know it is likely a phase and that if we continue to talk to him about it and model good behavior, he will catch on but right now it’s so frustrating.

He’s not only hitting kids at school. He’s hitting me too. And Ryan. And he’s kicked the dog. Everything we say to him is just going in one ear and out the other. I’ve tried spanking [see edit below]. No response. We’ve tried time out. But the consequences of this behavior just don’t seem to be getting through to him.

Hopefully we are getting the negative behavior out of the way early and won’t have to deal with any issues when he is a teenager or young adult. Hey, it could happen. 🙂

[Edit] Let me rephrase – we tried spanking…twice. Only twice. I’m not here to get into the spanking vs. not debate. I was spanked as a child and came out fine. That being said, we are not taking that approach, especially given the issue we are dealing with. One more thing for context – he isn’t even two yet.

Overwhelmed and over scheduled

May 8, 2013Leave a comment

I like to keep busy and hate being bored. But, you hit a certain point where you’re overwhelmed by how over scheduled you are and you crave some downtime that is scheduled with absolutely nothing. The month of May has already been and will continue to be one of my most hectic months of the year.

TRAVEL
This past weekend was a lot of fun, but it is one of those that leaves you exhausted for the week. We drove down to Huntington Beach to visit my in-laws. My sister-in-law and soon to be brother-in-law were also out visiting from Minnesota. It’s always so fun to hang out with family, but it is the drive that is exhausting. Keeping a nearly one year old entertained for 5+ hours is a challenge. I gave in and let him watch movies on the iPad there and back. That is the only way we (yes, both he and I) were ever going to get through it. At one point on the drive back, he started shaking his head, hitting his hands to his head, and was pulling his hair. I could only commiserate with him as I too had reached the point of delirium and wanting to pull out my own hair.

This isn’t our only trip this month. It is the first of three. Memorial Day Weekend we head up to Oregon (another road trip) to gather with family and scatter my grandfather’s ashes. Then just a couple days after we return from that trip, we fly to Hawaii. I have a feeling this trip will be VERY different from the last time we took the kiddo. Flying with a 1 year old who wants to walk ALL THE TIME and has to sit on our laps for 5 hours is going to be interesting. I’m sure the iPad will be making an appearance then too.

EVENTS
I’m probably the only insane person in the world who decides – I know…I’ll throw my kid a first birthday party the day after a 6 figure fundraising gala that I’ve been working on since coming back from maternity leave. Sure, a month and a half ago it sounded like a great idea and totally feasible. As it gets closer though, I can’t help but wonder, “What the heck was I thinking???”

FAMILY
The only upside to all the craziness is that we are going to get a lot of family time. Last weekend was spent with my husband’s family. This weekend is spent with our little family (my first mother’s day!). Next weekend is spent with my parents, in-laws, aunts, and uncles to celebrate Nolan’s birthday. The following weekend we will be with 15+ family members as we remember my grandpa. And the weekend after that (technically that’s June, but it’s the first day of June) we will be in Hawaii celebrating my grandparents’ 60th wedding anniversary.

I’m exhausted just writing about all of this. How do you cope with a crazy schedule and avoid becoming overwhelmed?

Life can mean being really tired at work

April 15, 2013Leave a comment

When I think of the work-life balance, I typically think of work dominating life. When you have a kid, it can go the completely opposite way.

Been up since 11:30 (after going to bed at 10:30) with a screaming kid who was wide awake and had no intention of going to sleep. He is down now (it is just after 2am), but thanks to him, now I’M wide awake.

I have a feeling tomorrow, er, today, will be a rough one with lots of caffeine. It will be evident that tonight/this morning, life was clearly the dominating force. In this battle between work and life, life wins.

First steps

April 13, 2013Leave a comment

It is so interesting to see what kids pick up from one another. And how being around other kids can lead them to hitting a developmental milestone.

This weekend, we did a babysitting swap with our friends (and neighbors…it’s nice that they live in the next building over) so we could each have date night. Brilliant idea, right?! They have a son 7 months older than Nolan (let’s call him R). They watched Nolan last night and tonight we are watching R.

Nolan loves to army crawl. He is always testing to see if he can crawl under things. It was funny to hear when we picked him up after our date last night that R watched Nolan crawl under their dining room chairs and then started doing it too. They said he had never done that before.

It wasn’t too long ago that R started walking. I think seeing R walk last night was the inspiration Nolan needed to take his first steps. This morning, after standing on his own for quite a bit, Nolan took his first steps. He was so proud of himself! After the first three steps, Ryan moved quickly and set up his phone to capture the next few.

Life will never be the same. As exhausting as it will be once he really gets the hang of it and starts running, I’m excited. It’ll be fun to hold his hand and walk to the playground together. I can only imagine the mischief he will get into now.

Technology – a friend to all working parents

March 21, 2013Leave a comment

Technology is amazing. I had a donor event tonight (which went very well, by the way) and knew I was going to be home long after my little one went to bed. While at my event, I looked at the clock and realized he would be (or should be) asleep. I pulled my iPhone out of my pocket and opened up the iBaby app. Thanks to our nifty iBaby Monitor, I can watch my kid in his crib, live, from anywhere on my iPhone.

How neat that I can be at work and still be able to check in on my little guy sleeping in his crib! I showed it to a few donors (whose children are older) and I think I might have blown them away. “This is a live feed? That’s amazing!” several people said to me.

My husband has been at late night work things too and again, thanks to technology, has been able to take a few minutes and really connect with our son. He knew he wasn’t going to be home in time to say goodnight, so he found a quiet corner and took a few minutes to FaceTime with us before bedtime.

I can’t wait to see what the next piece of technology is that will make those occasional late work nights away from your kids a little more bearable.

10 months in the blink of an eye

March 20, 2013Leave a comment

How on earth has my baby gone from this:

to this:

Nolan has grown so much and is turning into quite the little boy. As our visitation pastor at church pointed out to me, “It looks like church baby has turned into church terror!” The kid has pipes. Loud ones. Like his daddy, I’m not sure it’s possible for him to talk quietly. And now that he’s mobile and on the verge of walking, the concept of keeping still or staying in one place is preposterous.

He’s already exhibiting traits that make me think he is going to be a handful. When he starts crawling down the hallway toward the dog bowls, I’ll say, “Nolan, where are you going?” and he will stop, turn to look at me, laugh a maniacal laugh, and then speed over to do what he knows he is not supposed to. He will pick food up off of his high chair tray, look at me, hold it over the edge, and drop it. 10 months old and the boy already knows how to push my buttons. I’m in trouble because its only going to get worse from here.

But in all honesty, it’s his loud voice, constant need to be on the go, and his mischievous ways that make him so fun. I wouldn’t want it any other way. He is a good kid. He’s so sweet and really loves his mommy (I will eat that up while I can get it). Everyday I pick him up from daycare, he melts my heart. He gets a huge toothy grin on his face (6 teeth fully in already!), speeds over to me, and gives me the tightest hug and lots of kisses (which are sometimes bites, but we’re working on it). He is generally happy and has a great sense of humor. He sleeps well at night, with the occasional bad one here and there. And he’s down right adorable. He is one good looking kid, if I do say so myself.

It’s been the best 10 months of our life. I can’t believe how quickly it has gone by, or that I’m planning his first birthday already.

The Art of Tightrope Walking

Life is one big balancing act

Tag: parenting