This post will be updated throughout the year with the most recent “too good not to share” quotes that come out of my kid’s mouth. Enjoy.

8/12/15
Upon dropping him off at preschool: “Mommy, you always leave me.”
Upon picking him up from preschool:
“You need to give me away. To Grammy and Grandpa. I don’t want to live with you.”

8/7/15
Nolan: Can we have dessert?
Me: No not tonight.
Nolan: But you can buy some.
Me: I don’t have any money.
Nolan: I have money.
Me: You do? Where?
Nolan: It’s on the trees. I’ll pull some off.

8/1/15
Nolan: Daddy! There’s something on my arms!
Ryan: That’s hair. It will start growing in a lot of places.
Nolan: Awww…but…I don’t want hair!

7/23/15
Nolan: “Mommy, you need to put George in the closet.”
Me: “Why? I thought you wanted to sleep with him.”
Nolan: “But he will wake up and be curious and cause lots of trouble.”

7/15/15
Me: “I’m going to miss you when you go to Grammy and Grandpa’s house.”
Nolan: “But Mommy, you need to share boys! Grammy will miss me if I stay with you.”

6/27/15
Today while following my husband to my in-laws’ new house…
Me: I have no idea where we are.
Nolan: I know where we are. We are behind Daddy and Grandpa’s truck.
Me: Haha, you’re right.
Nolan: I know. I’m always right.

5/20/15
Nolan: Can I drive that car?
Ryan: No, you can’t drive any cars.
Nolan: But I’m 3 now!

5/3/15
While FaceTiming my parents…
Nolan: Hey, do you guys want to talk to my butt?
*face palm*

4/12/15
Me: Do you know what happens to little kids who don’t listen to their parents on vacation? They get left in Switzerland to live with the marmots.
Nolan: Oh……But I will miss you!
Even he knows he’s a lost cause.

4/4/15
Nolan: “I want to do whatever I want! I’m the boss!”

3/8/15
Nolan: We need to get a new car.
Me: Why? What’s wrong with our car?
Nolan: It’s not orange.

3/6/16
Nolan has several friends who now have younger siblings. The other night he said he wanted one (note: this is NOT an announcement of any kind so nobody ask when he’s getting one). The following exchange had me in stitches…
Ryan: If you have a brother or sister, that means mommy and daddy won’t be able to pay as much attention to you. You’ll have to share us.
Nolan: Nawwww, you’re just kiddin’ Daddy…..(Reassuring himself) Yeah, you’re just kiddin’.

2/7/15
Me: You’re a character.
Nolan: What character? I’m not from Peter Pan or Finding Nemo.

1/25/15
Nolan has been on a Peter Pan kick lately. He was singing the song “Following the Leader”…only his version was “We’re following burritos, burritos, burritos.” Ryan said, “Now that’s something I can get behind!" 

1/1/15
Nolan-isms in 2015 are starting off strong:
"When I am big I’m going to drink lots of coffee!”
“Let me tell you a story. There was a cow and pig and then crash! A train! But they are ok.”
“This is also my jam!” (Referring to a song on the radio)