Love them. Love this place. Going to be hard to go back. (at Kalama Beach Park)
Category: Uncategorized
This is how Nolan feels about the beach: “Yeah. Yeah. Yeah! Yeah! THIS!” (at Kalama Beach Park)
Change all around
We are experiencing some major changes in the Riddle family this summer. Here are some highlights:
Me
I started my new job as Director of Development at City Year San Jose/Silicon Valley. If I hit the lights right, it only takes me 4 minutes to get to work! With yesterday and today as agency holidays, it was a short yet awesome first week. I work with a bunch of rock stars. Seriously, there is so much talent on this team and I’m privileged to be a part of it. On day 2 we had a staff retreat to kick off FY14 and it was amazing. Currently I’m reading a ton to get myself caught up on culture, history, impact, etc. Everyone has been extremely welcoming and helpful, providing a lot of explanations and helping me decode the gazillion acronyms (side note: I can’t speak to the corporate world because I decided pretty quickly it wasn’t for me, but I’ve come to the conclusion that nonprofits LOVE acronyms. And not just a few of them – a lot of them).
Ryan
My husband is also about to experience some professional change. He isn’t leaving Box, but come 7/15/13 he’s starting as their first Technical Productivity Manager. I’m so excited for him and this new role!
Nolan
With my new job closer to home, Nolan is getting ready to start at a new daycare later this month. Today, he and I went for a 3 hour enrollment visit to meet his classmates and new teachers. I’m so glad he is social because we walked in and he went straight to the group of kids, picked up a toy, and sat down to play. It’s pretty different than the home daycare set up he is accustomed to, and he’ll be the youngest in his class, but I got a good feeling for it today and think he’ll end up loving it there too.
Sitting like a big boy at snack time
Taking part in story time
In-Laws
In the last month, my in-laws have moved to the Bay Area (all of them – mother, father, sister, and soon to be brother-in-law) meaning that we now have family within 15 minutes of us! When we moved to the Bay Area 6 years ago that was the thing I was going to miss most – being near family. Turns out if you have a kid, they will come 
Almost everyone has jobs and we are so excited that Nolan gets to grow up with family nearby!
Our Christmas letter is going to have a lot of content this year!
An incredible ride
Here we are. The end of an era. My last day of work. I’ve had 2 full months to prepare for my departure from ACS, but the amount of time has almost made it harder. It’s like pulling a band aid off – if you do it slowly, you think it might hurt less but it actually ends up drawing out the pain. This last week I’ve been far more anxious than I thought I would be. Waking up a full hour before my alarm for the last week, trouble emptying my head at night, a twisty stomach, and a sudden outbreak of canker sores (I swear I haven’t touched any nuts or chocolate in the last 2 weeks!) are physical reactions I never thought I’d have.
Yesterday was the day I was dreading most. Saying goodbye to my boss. We both agreed that our exit lunch was strange and that neither of us knew how to have closure on our 5+ year relationship. We even had lunch at the same restaurant where 5 years earlier he asked me to apply for the director role. It didn’t help. We have been each other’s workplace support systems. We’ve been each other’s rock through years of ups and downs. How do you find closure on that? When he left yesterday, it was the last time I would see him in the office as his employee. There were tears. We hugged. He has been so much more than a supervisor to me: he’s been my mentor, role model, and friend. Aside from supervisor, those roles he has played won’t change, but it will be a transition that will take some getting used to.
ACS is really where I grew up. I came to this organization as a fresh 22 year old, newlywed, recent college grad, and pretty new to the real world. I leave a 28 year old, mother, homeowner, experienced professional, with a career. Thanks for everything, ACS. It has been an incredible ride.
Overwhelmed and over scheduled
I like to keep busy and hate being bored. But, you hit a certain point where you’re overwhelmed by how over scheduled you are and you crave some downtime that is scheduled with absolutely nothing. The month of May has already been and will continue to be one of my most hectic months of the year.
TRAVEL
This past weekend was a lot of fun, but it is one of those that leaves you exhausted for the week. We drove down to Huntington Beach to visit my in-laws. My sister-in-law and soon to be brother-in-law were also out visiting from Minnesota. It’s always so fun to hang out with family, but it is the drive that is exhausting. Keeping a nearly one year old entertained for 5+ hours is a challenge. I gave in and let him watch movies on the iPad there and back. That is the only way we (yes, both he and I) were ever going to get through it. At one point on the drive back, he started shaking his head, hitting his hands to his head, and was pulling his hair. I could only commiserate with him as I too had reached the point of delirium and wanting to pull out my own hair.
This isn’t our only trip this month. It is the first of three. Memorial Day Weekend we head up to Oregon (another road trip) to gather with family and scatter my grandfather’s ashes. Then just a couple days after we return from that trip, we fly to Hawaii. I have a feeling this trip will be VERY different from the last time we took the kiddo. Flying with a 1 year old who wants to walk ALL THE TIME and has to sit on our laps for 5 hours is going to be interesting. I’m sure the iPad will be making an appearance then too.
EVENTS
I’m probably the only insane person in the world who decides – I know…I’ll throw my kid a first birthday party the day after a 6 figure fundraising gala that I’ve been working on since coming back from maternity leave. Sure, a month and a half ago it sounded like a great idea and totally feasible. As it gets closer though, I can’t help but wonder, “What the heck was I thinking???”
FAMILY
The only upside to all the craziness is that we are going to get a lot of family time. Last weekend was spent with my husband’s family. This weekend is spent with our little family (my first mother’s day!). Next weekend is spent with my parents, in-laws, aunts, and uncles to celebrate Nolan’s birthday. The following weekend we will be with 15+ family members as we remember my grandpa. And the weekend after that (technically that’s June, but it’s the first day of June) we will be in Hawaii celebrating my grandparents’ 60th wedding anniversary.
I’m exhausted just writing about all of this. How do you cope with a crazy schedule and avoid becoming overwhelmed?
Difficult decision, exciting news
I haven’t posted in a while because a lot of what I have been wanting to write about has been top secret. I tried to steer clear of my blog for fear of accidentally letting something slip. However, now that the decision has been made and the appropriate people have been informed, I can officially announce my news: I have accepted the position of Director of Development at a national organization’s Silicon Valley site.
It was an extremely difficult decision. For the most part, I have really enjoyed working at my current organization. After being there 5.5 years, I know it inside and out. I know the key players and have built solid relationships with donors, funders, and board members. I like my co-workers and have a great boss. And, there are no surprises – meaning that I know what the challenges, flaws, and areas for improvement are. I love the mission of the organization and know that we do good work in the community. So why would I leave?
A lot of factors played into my acceptance of this offer. I am ready for a new challenge. I want to work in the community in which I live. I am tired of commuting and do not want my son to have to spend so much time in the car each day on the way to and from daycare. I have a vision for my career and in order to get to where I want to be, it is time for me to broaden my experience, work in a different environment, and fundraise for a bigger budget. Contrary to what people may think, it was not really about a higher salary or better benefits…though that didn’t hurt.
I was made aware of the opening by my mentor, who encouraged me to take a look at it because she thought it was an organization I might be interested in. She was right. I submitted my résumé and didn’t hear anything for over a month. I assumed they weren’t interested and didn’t sweat it because I had a job. I was surprised when they finally did contact me because I had applied so long ago. It was an intense process…8 interviews (3 in-person, 5 by phone), each lasting 30-90 minutes, with people from the San Jose/Silicon Valley office, as well as in Boston, Seattle, and Los Angeles. I did as much interviewing of them as they did of me. I wanted to make sure this was 1) the right fit, 2) an organization I could be passionate about, 3) a fiscally responsible organization, and 4) the best decision for me at this point in my career and life.
A few thoughts about my new position. Working with a national organization has a lot of perks, career advancement and the occasional trip to the Boston headquarters, being a couple. While my title is Director of Development, specifically I’ll be handling individual giving, major gifts, events, and strategy. There is no real individual giving program established, so my big task (which is a little scary, but exciting) is to get one going. My new office is down the street from where I live. If I wanted to, I could walk. Even if my office hours are slightly longer than what I am accustomed to, the time I will save in my commute is HUGE.
I’m a little torn about my son’s daycare situation. I know we will find something closer to home and that it’ll be great, but we (all three of us) love his current provider. He has been there since he was 2.5 months old. They are practically his second family. We’ll keep him where he is until we find new arrangements.
I was able to negotiate a start date of July 1 so that I can finish out the fiscal year at my current job. We have a big fundraising event in 2 weeks and I want to do what I can to get things organized and document a lot of the things I do that have lived in my head for 5 years.
This experience, of informing and getting ready to leave my current organization, has been far more emotional than I expected it to be. I am lucky and blessed to be in this situation. Not everyone can say they genuinely like their job, the mission, and the people they work with and are moving on mainly because of a bigger opportunity/career advancement. I couldn’t have asked for a better starting point to my career and look forward to this next chapter.
Life can mean being really tired at work
When I think of the work-life balance, I typically think of work dominating life. When you have a kid, it can go the completely opposite way.
Been up since 11:30 (after going to bed at 10:30) with a screaming kid who was wide awake and had no intention of going to sleep. He is down now (it is just after 2am), but thanks to him, now I’M wide awake.
I have a feeling tomorrow, er, today, will be a rough one with lots of caffeine. It will be evident that tonight/this morning, life was clearly the dominating force. In this battle between work and life, life wins.
First steps
It is so interesting to see what kids pick up from one another. And how being around other kids can lead them to hitting a developmental milestone.
This weekend, we did a babysitting swap with our friends (and neighbors…it’s nice that they live in the next building over) so we could each have date night. Brilliant idea, right?! They have a son 7 months older than Nolan (let’s call him R). They watched Nolan last night and tonight we are watching R.
Nolan loves to army crawl. He is always testing to see if he can crawl under things. It was funny to hear when we picked him up after our date last night that R watched Nolan crawl under their dining room chairs and then started doing it too. They said he had never done that before.
It wasn’t too long ago that R started walking. I think seeing R walk last night was the inspiration Nolan needed to take his first steps. This morning, after standing on his own for quite a bit, Nolan took his first steps. He was so proud of himself! After the first three steps, Ryan moved quickly and set up his phone to capture the next few.
Life will never be the same. As exhausting as it will be once he really gets the hang of it and starts running, I’m excited. It’ll be fun to hold his hand and walk to the playground together. I can only imagine the mischief he will get into now.
Mentorship
I never really thought about mentorship until 2008 when I was asked to participate as a mentor in our church’s mentor program. They pair up middle school confirmation students with adults in the congregation for a year. I had a great time and the next thing I knew, Ryan and I were coordinating the mentor program (note: for the record, I have a hard time saying no). Seriously though, it was a great experience and the last year we led it (BC – before child) we were even able to revamp it so that the mentors and mentees had a more enjoyable experience.
Professionally, I’ve been fortunate to have had several mentors. I think back to my boss at the Ronald Reagan Presidential Library in Simi Valley. I learned so much from him – not necessarily about my job, but how to be a stand up person and be a leader.
Similarly, my current boss has served as my mentor for the last 5 years. He has taught me about building relationships, managing a team, strategic planning, being fiscally responsible, and how important it is to have fun at work with the people you work with.
I’ve also had a formal mentor through the Association of Fundraising Professionals’ Silicon Valley Chapter’s Mentorship Program. Talking to someone in my field, in the same geographic region has been a godsend. Sometimes you need to vent. Sometimes you need to bounce ideas off of them. And sometimes, you need advice. I was so lucky to formally have her as my mentor and am fortunate that she’s continued to interact with me in that capacity.
Last September, I started a program offered through the Chamber of Commerce calledLeadership Palo Alto. I will admit, going into it, I was a little skeptical about what I would get out of it and nervous about the time commitment – 10 sessions from September to June, each lasting from 8am to 6pm. It has far exceeded my expectations. One topic that has come up time and time again has been mentorship: why it’s important, what to look for in a mentor, and how to really utilize a mentor to grow as a leader. Unlike some of my peers in the program, I have been really lucky to have had multiple mentors in my life. So, instead of focusing on who I might ask to become MY mentor, I thought, “I wonder if someone would ever want ME to be THEIR mentor?”
Perhaps it was a sign that my mentor through AFP was now running the Mentorship Program for the Silicon Valley chapter and contacted me about participating – as a mentor this time around. I had concerns and worries – I’m young! Aren’t I still too inexperienced to be someone else’s mentor?!? She gave me the boost of confidence I needed and made me look back at all that I had accomplished in the last 5.5 years I have been in the Development field. I suppose one benefit of working at a small organization is that you learn how to do everything…and learn it as quickly as you possibly can because as soon as you’re done with one thing, it is on to the next.
I recently started my journey as a mentor and am working with a fabulous mentee who is fairly new to the field. Just in our first meeting as I heard about some of the struggles she is facing, it occurred to me how much I’ve grown. And how excited I am to be on the other side of it all.
Mission driven vs. funding driven decision making
I recently had my first experience negotiating a contract with a county. It didn’t go so well. Coming from a small organization, we thought getting a contract would be a long shot but figured, you never know. Imagine my shock when I received word that we had received the grant and would be going into contract negotiations.
It was a process like no other I had experienced. In my experience with grant proposals, you write what you do or are proposing to do and then if the funder likes what you have presented, they fund you or not (this is a dumbed down, very basic synopsis of a grant maker’s process…I know there’s a lot more to it, but this is the gist of it). I won’t get into the specific details of this process, but let’s just say that from the minute we sat down, they fired off questions at us. They liked the idea of what we were proposing – but they wanted us to change substantial parts of our proposal and had certain expectations that we realistically would not be able to meet. After a lot of discussion on our end, we formally withdrew from negotiations.
Not every organization and leadership team would have made that decision. Especially not in these cash strapped, financially strained times. However, I think situations and decisions like this should ALWAYS go back to the mission of the organization. We looked at our mission and realized the changes they were asking us to make would be a stretch and not directly tie back to our mission. We looked at our strategic plan and saw that if we accepted one of their requests, we would be completely ignoring a very clear direction laid out in our long range plan. We looked at staff time and resources. We ultimately did what was best for the organization and all those involved.
Sometimes, saying no, IS the best thing to do. Allowing funding to drive programmatic decisions can become a dangerous path to go down. What happens when that funding cycle ends? Or if, like a lot of government funding, it dries up? How will you sustain that program and keep it going?
If you want to read more about keeping an organization’s mission at the heart of decision making, I highly recommend Peter Brinckerhoff‘s book, “Mission-Based Management: Leading Your Not-For-Profit in the 21st Century.”