Watching Frosty the Snowman with these guys after a wonderful Christmas. I’m beat.
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Oh man, one present in and already it’s the BEST. (at Home)
My silly boy. Can’t contain his Christmas excitement! (at Home)
The #turkey has been #spatchcocked! For the next 43 hours, it will rest covered in a dry brine before being cooked. Christmas dinner, here we come! #yum (at Home)
Things got a little crazy with the toast this morning. (at Home)
It’s been a while since we’ve been able to do a slow Saturday morning. Cartoons in mommy and daddy’s bed #netflix #MerryChristmasThomas
From China to America: Reflecting on the Life of Foo Lim
My grandfather, Foo Wey Lim, passed away on December 12, 2014 from a meningioma. He was 84 years old. I wanted to put down in writing what I knew about my grandfather so that the next generation could learn about his life. There is a lot we are still piecing together about his family because he didn’t like to talk about it.
I was the first grandchild and when I was born, he was convinced he was too young to be called a grandpa (he wasn’t – my dad was 30 when I arrived). So he coined a new name – GrandFoo. And it stuck. All 4 of the grandkids use “GrandFoo”. It even passed to the next generation with my son calling him “GoongFoo”.
We had dinner at Grandma and GrandFoo’s house regularly. I remember the conversations being lively and usually about business, which tends to happen with a family owned and operated company. He was feisty and I remember a lot of yelling. Some of the yelling was because he was opinionated and stubborn. But I think some of the yelling was just because that is how he spoke: loudly and with purpose. He was a fierce conservative who had Fox News on TV all day. I always liked watching my aunt, a fierce liberal, engage him in political debates.
GrandFoo came to America at age 9 from China with his older brother, Keong, and a cousin. They were to meet up with his father, who was already in America. He came through Vancouver on a ship, then trained across the country, and got on a boat to come through Ellis Island. His last name, in Chinese characters, was translated to Lim. As it turned out, he was the only Lim. The rest of the family was translated to Lum or Lau.
I often think about how he assimilated, fully embracing American history and culture. He loved country westerns and historic accounts of the civil war. He could be sound asleep and wake up with the correct answer to an American history question during a family game of Trivial Pursuit. He grew up in Rochester, NY and after expressing a desire to be a veterinarian, lived with a family who owned a farm. According to my grandma, in some cases he had more of an American upbringing than most Americans. While he was proud of his Chinese heritage (FYI, according to GrandFoo, the Chinese invented everything), he was also extremely proud to be an American.
Unlike Uncle Keong or other relatives, GrandFoo was given far more English speaking and Americanized experiences. I think his adoption of American life befuddled his family, who held so strongly to their Chinese customs and ways of life. I remember visiting Uncle Keong, GrandFoo’s older brother, in Brooklyn when I was a teenager. I had a hard time believing he and GrandFoo were brothers because Uncle Keong (who was, as I thought back then “really Chinese”) was watching a Chinese superhero movie – nothing GrandFoo would ever watch. He also had three sisters, something our entire side of the family didn’t know about until I was a senior in college. I’m still fuzzy on why GrandFoo never told us about them (even my grandma didn’t know), but that’s a whole different story for another time.
GrandFoo studied zoology at Mighigan State University. This is where he met my grandmother, Evelyn Lum (if his name had been translated to Lum, she wouldn’t have had to change hers). They were married and my grandfather served in the Army. Infact, my dad was born on base in Fort Leonard Wood, MO.
He and my grandma moved back to Rochester and raised their kids there. He worked as a pharmaceutical associate doing research (and was instrumental in getting nitroglycerins FDA approved), owned a pizza parlor, and opened the only Chinese restaurant at the time in Rochester, named Su Wan, after my aunt. My grandma tells me that GrandFoo handpicked every single detail of the restaurant from the color of the walls, the tables and chairs (Eames style, of course), the plates, and even the placemats. He always had definite opinions on style, loving mid-century furnishings and even hand picking the fabrics for my grandma’s dresses.
As my dad and uncle got into sailing, he was right there coaching them even though he was learning about sailing along with them. In 1971, the family moved to my grandma’s home of Hawaii. The conditions for sailing were much better there. Funny enough, for all of the boating and sailing that was a part of my grandfather’s life, GrandFoo didn’t even know how to swim.
My grandfather was a small business owner many times in his life. He owned the restaurants in Rochester and then started businesses in Hawaii with my dad and uncle working for him. They started a fiberglass business called Hawaiian Aqua Products, building boats. GrandFoo was extemely proud to have built “Sweet Okole”, the first boat built in Hawaii to win the Trans Pac race from California to Hawaii. Ultimately, they expanded from boat building to form Foo Lim & Sons, manufacturing architectural, decorative, and structural pieces out of fiberglass. He was always the business man and entrepreneur, finding business and negotiating deals.
If he wasn’t working or watching the news, he was at Waikiki Yacht Club hanging out with his buddies. When my brother was a little boy, he used to go to the yacht club with GrandFoo and have lunch with the guys. I remember when we went to the club for dinner, he always insisted I order a cup of clam chowder and rainbow sherbet. Oh, and he would order me either a Shirley Temple or a Coke with maraschino cherries.
GrandFoo was ambitious and lived out the American Dream. But, he also passed on an appreciation of his Chinese heritage. I have a huge amount of respect and admiration of him, even if I didn’t always agree with him. Communicating or displaying acts of affection was never something he was good at. Hugs were always a little awkward. I didn’t say it enough but I love you, GrandFoo, and am thankful for everything you did for our family.
Driving toward a California sunset with @iryan
A conversation
My grandfather is not in good health and was recently moved to a hospice facility. We’re going to make a short trip over MLK Jr. weekend to Hawaii to see him and the rest of my family. I just booked the tickets last night (side note: Alaska is the best! $528 total, roundtrip for 3 people, achieved through low fares, miles, and a companion fare) and told the 2.5 year old in the car when I picked him up from daycare today.
I had the following conversation with him.
Me: Hey, who haven’t we seen in a while?
N: Oma and Goong Goong?
Me: That’s right! But guess what. We’re going to make a quick trip next month and get on an airplane to see them!
N: We’re going on airplane to Hawaii?
Me: Yeah!
N: I get to use my iPad?!? Hooray! I get to use my iPad!!!
Man, is he a Silicon Valley 21st century kid or what? More excited about the fact that he’ll get to play with an iPad on the plane than the plane ride itself. But this is also proof that we really don’t let him use it outside of travel.
Later in the conversation…
Me: Do you know whose birthday it will be when we’re in Hawaii?
N: Oma?
Me: Nope, Goong Goong!
N: Goong Goong? Oh. Is he going to be 3?
Me: No, he’s much older than that.
N: Is he going to be 4?
Me: No, he’s going to be 60.
N: Wow, 60? That’s a big number.
Hahahaha, conversations with a 2.5 year old are always entertaining.
Christmas hit our house in a big way. Even the clock is decorated.